Today I did it, I finally was a great mother. Usually, I push us through the day connecting activity and errand until nap time and then punting the last hour or so before my husband comes home. My sons are drug around and impatient, causing me to be irritable with them, causing them to be crabby, causing me to…you know how it goes. But today, oh today, I just hunkered down and we lived the stay at home dream. We ate a wholesome breakfast. Finger-painting was next, followed immediately and smoothly with a bath in the sink. Baking, blocks, and horse-rides, I was a present mom rather than my usual distracted self. And the biggest surprise was that I loved it.

My generation of women were raised to believe we could do it all; education, career, motherhood, marriage, independence. As little girls we were told that we could be anything we wanted. Our parents, teachers, and coaches were right, they just forgot to mention that we couldn’t be it all at the same time. Or at least not do it all very well at the same time. I spend a great portion of each day thinking of everything I am not doing. If I am home I am thinking about what I need to be doing at work, if I am not home, I ache for my children. I have done countless combinations of work and home, part-time, full-time, job share, self employed, at home. None of the combinations have achieved a balance that lasted as our needs and children grew and changed.
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