By Jennifer Slayden
Our friendship was created slowly, like a kettle of soup on simmer. She delighted in the sight of toys strewn across the yard and the laughter of my children echoing through the neighborhood, since her three children were grown and gone. He eventually became “Grandpa” and relentlessly pulled ears in a teasing, loving way — much a kid himself. She became “Grandma” to the kids and another “Mom” to me. We celebrated annual events together, like pumpkin carving. Mom and I sat on her back porch late one evening, sipping on a bottle of red wine, trying to solve the problems of all the mothers in the world, while he kept wondering why in the world she hadn’t come to bed yet!
Annual pumpkin carving with grandma and grandpa
For twelve years we laughed, cried, played with my kids and put chores on the back burner while we visited spontaneously, until one day they moved. Through fate and a mournful death of a family member, they found themselves hugged by the same mountains that observed him years ago when he had transformed from boy to man. As they were being greeted back by the Bitterroots we were grieving our loss. Suddenly our daily life was void of the neighbors and friends who had become family.
Cade with Jack....the little brother he always wanted.
They did their best to find good renters, and we were delighted when a young couple with their first child moved in. She a nurse, he a fireman in training. The slow simmer of friendship started cooking again. I adored their little boy, as did my children. Her belly swelled until one day another beautiful baby joined their family.
Signs of children’s toys and laughter echoed through the neighborhood from a new generation. I admired her spirit, her wonderful approach to motherhood, and her drive. I held her newborn baby and somehow I slipped through a portal of time, contemplating that her stage of motherhood was me ten years prior. I saw her less than I wished, with our combined busy schedules, but I always enjoyed our runs and the spur-of-the-moment visits and laughter when time stood still.
We slipped into the quiet space of my studio and drank red wine two weeks before she left, trying to envision her future in the new place her family would be moving. New community and new preschool. A new nursing job. We talked later than we thought, trying to solve the problems of all the mothers in the world, while my husband wondered why in the world I hadn’t come to bed yet.
Now the house across the road casts a lonely stare from the pane on the upstairs window as I await a new neighbor. The old country house has stored many memories in the decades since it was built. Two families since I moved here, one older, one younger, have touched my life. Through it all I have learned that the true definition of neighbors are the people who dwell in your heart forever, whether they live across the road, or a thousand miles away.
Friends, we will miss you! May you always find good neighbors and keep them, wherever life leads you.
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So the thing is, you are not supposed to make me cry so early in the morning! This beautiful, hearfelt piece is a wonderful tribute to your friends and to your soul. Well done my friend!
I’m sorry Jenna…..good tears though right? Are you sure you don’t want to downsize and come be my neighbor?? Thanks for the comment…..crying DOES heal the soul, right?
oh my sweet friend… This is so beautiful. I too am so greatful for our time together. My heart is heavy today and reading this didn’t help. However, the sun is bright and I am trying to be strong for my boys. Love, love, love!
kate
Kate,
Oh I didn’t want it to be hard to read….be happy, my friend! You are such a gift…..North Carolina is going to enjoy the Berry family so much!
Enjoy the sunshine, the beautiful weather, and hug those boys! The time is now to look ahead and embrace the wonderful things that are in store for you:) I am so excited for you all! Be well….:) xoxox
Oh Jen. You make me laugh and cry. Growing up, I had a neighborhood of mothers. I guess it kept me out of trouble. NOT!
I wonder what the kids in my neighborhood will remember me by? You are lucky to have grown up with all those moms…that way, you could house hop until you got the answer you wanted??? Or the dinner you wanted?
It is hard to believe how fast time goes, isn’t it? Now my kids are wondering what is for dinner at the house next door……:)
Jen
What a beautiful story…and a wonderful reminder to spend time with the people in our lives.
I love the pictures, too!
Thank you Anne,
It seems the older we get, the more reminders we get about how important it is to make those memories and cherish those little moments…….
Thanks for coming by!
Jen
How lucky you’ve been to have had neighbors you will miss. Through your beautiful tributes, I feel your love for them and your loss. Beautiful.
I agree Jennifer. As hard as it is to say goodbye, I can say for sure I have been incredibly blessed for 14 years to have multiple wonderful neighbors who have moved or passed away. They all took a piece of my heart with them. So many people don’t know their neighbors these days.
Thanks for your comment!
Love,
Jen
We have wonderful neighbors that we appreciate so much!! We’re very close to almost all of them on block…some older, some younger and many ages to play together. It is a blessing for me but especially for our kids!!!
Great post Jen!
What a wonderful picture of your neighborhood Betsy! And I’m sure they all appreciate you….Having a zen Mama next door….that is a luxury!
Thanks for stopping by, Betsy. Happy Spring!
Jen
Hey Jen!
It’s great you’ve had good experiences with neighbors. I’ve had the opposite. I had to move to the end of a dead end road to finally find some quiet and peace. Now my neighbors are horses. Thanks for the great post!
Dandy….I shouldn’t say it, but I will
Horses make great NEIGHHHHHBORS.
Okay, I know. Mom joke!
But, good for you! Your house should be the best place you ever are, and neighbors play a big role in making or breaking where you live!
Thanks for stopping by!
Jen
Jen,
What a beautiful tribute. I am so happy to be close enough that we can still get together and have fun. I CAN N
Vonnie,
It looks like we lost half your comment, but yes! I am so fortunate to still see you guys….although it is not nearly enough for any of us.
Love you!
Jen
Jen,
What wonderful memories you have of your neighborhood. I’ve moved 15 times and have never really gotten that close to my neighbors. I hope to settle down one day and have the close relationship you describe here.
Angela…15 times! In many ways, that is probably exciting too!
I feel so very fortunate to have good neighbors, and remember good neighbors as a child too, even though we moved quite a bit before I was 9….
Thanks for stoppping by!
Jen
Oh my goodness, I think I cry too easily. Yet I love how emotional I am, lol. What a wonderful reversal of roles in this writing. I just love it! I have a very missed neighbor as well, but we haven’t warmed up to the new ones who are a real piece of work.
Sheila,
I’m glad you are emotional…it makes me feel like you are a kindred spirit:) I am happy to say I FINALLY found renters, after a grueling and emotional two weeks. I think they will be wonderful. Their kids are grown but they are happy to leave our basketball hoop in their driveway for my kids to play (a big concern for my three!) Here we go again………
Thanks for stopping by!
Jen