by Jennifer Slayden
In less than a week my kids are heading back to school. I have mixed feelings- for it has been a wonderfully full, exciting, crazy busy summer. Part of me wants to squeeze in a few more weeks of all the things we didn’t get enough time to do: swim, visit lazily with friends and family, hike, and camp. Another part of me is doing a hallelujah dance-for routine has not been a word in our house for a very long time!
This year marks a new milestone for our tween daughter Grace. She will be in middle school. Although it is not as significant in our K-8 school district as it may be for kids in town who attend a new school, it is still a milestone. Classes are different. Social circles change. Homework becomes tougher and more demanding. She needs more school supplies…..
Grace was excited to go school shopping. As many of you know, the only thing that thrills me about shopping is a bargain. So when we had a special date together to have dinner and shop for school I quickly realized we had two very different opinions about what was “necessary” for school. I had the list and it said simply words like “pencils, folders, spiral notebooks,etc.” For me each item seemed pretty straight forward. For my daughter those same words meant “only mechanical pencils with cool colors, folders with the pictures on them that cost $1.99 instead of $.15, and different spiral notebooks because “Sidney has those ones and she will be mad at me if I have the same ones!” Needless to say I put my foot down. She wasn’t too happy, so I let her pick out one cute notebook.
The backpack is what we really disagreed upon though. She had a perfectly good one from last year that she claimed the zipper was broken on, and it wasn’t big enough for her middle school homework. I said it was fine, fixed the zipper (it had thread caught in it) and launched into my “save the planet” speech about being wise about reusing. My little high horse speech fell on deaf ears.
I left that argument alone, and we left the store without a backpack for the moment. We proceeded to the Mustard Seed for dinner and conversation, which took a little of the tension away. I laughed out loud when we opened up our fortune cookies at the end of our meal, for this is what they read:
Grace: “Don’t underestimate yourself. Your social skills are needed by others at this time.”
Mom: “Seek out the significance of your problem at this time. Try to understand.”
Let’s just say, THAT was a little “woo-whoo!” Was the universe laughing at me?
The whole experience got me thinking. Since middle school is going to be a new challenge for both my daughter and I, it would be good to have some ammunition. So I decided what might help me, and perhaps other moms, would be a Mama’s Middle School Backpack.
Yes. My very own…..loaded up with a plethora of necessities and tools to get through any challenge. Note: I changed my fortune cookie’s note to challenge because I hate to think of things as problems!
Here are my top ten picks to include in my backpack this fall:
10. An ice pack- to keep my cool when my daughter is being moody.
9. A permagrin face on a stick- so I can remember to find humor in situations in which I could act poorly.
8. Tween translator dictionary- because more and more these days I don’t understand what the heck my daughter is saying!
7. A white peace flag for those disagreements where neither of us will budge.
6. Heart band-aides- because I know that when my daughter’s hurting it hurts my heart too.
5. Bubble bath for those moments when I just need a time out.
4. An ugly bra. Yes, my daughter can now wear most of my clothes. You know, there are just a few things this mama doesn’t want to share, and my bra is one of them!
3. Pimple cream. It seems as if my body is having sympathy puberty…for I have encountered some middle-aged acne even though I wasn’t prone to it as a teen. This is just not fair!
2. Chocolate. I know what you are thinking. There may be a correlation between the chocolate I am eating and my need for pimple cream- but for my sanity I need the chocolate anyway. I’ll share the zit cream….NOT the chocolate!
and FINALLY:
1. A good bottle of red wine, labeled TWEEN ACRES: sure to sooth this mama’s soul when the aches of parenting a tween get too difficult. On other cold winter nights I will drink up my very personal blend of tea: BITE YO TONGUE MAMA or JENZEN BLEND.
One more thing about my mama’s middle school backpack: It serves a duel purpose in being an invisible cloak. That way, when my daughter tells me to “get lost” I can technically be out of the way, but ever present to listen and “try to understand” as my fortune cookie recommended.
As far as Grace and the backpack. I caved….a little. I said if she wanted a new one she had to pay for it herself. She did. She picked out this pretty little bag:
My bag isn’t pretty. But it is big. As I watch my “social Grace” prepare to conquer middle school, I recognize a little lesson: It’s not the outside of her much desired backpack that matters…..it is what I put into it that counts.
I hope I can fill my daughters middle school bag with a lot of peace, love, understanding and support. When all else fails I will open up my own pack, fill up the bathtub, and sip on my Jenzen blend tea.
What’s in your backpack?
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“A permagrin face on a stick,” tween translator dictionary, a peace flag! Your tween supplies are hilarious, especially because they are so touching and so true. In fact, these tools come in handy with lots of adults, too.
Thanks for another great article filled with poignant moments, but peppered with hilarity. Jenzen tea, anyone?
Love it Jen!! You can always make me smile!! Since I now live out of my car I think I need a suitcase though!
Jen you’re always so good at putting things into perspective. Thanks! I love the backpack by the way – Grace has good taste.
Miracle of miracles, my tween let me take a PICTURE of her on this first day of school! (Actually we have a long family tradition with her 25 and 22 yr old sibs, she was a baby in their tween school pics!). I also nabbed one of my niece heading off to her college classes. They grow up so fast!
Thanks for the “mom-slant” on shopping….
Beth
Very efficiently written information. It will be beneficial to everyone who usess it, as well as yours truly
. Keep doing what you are doing – for sure i will check out more posts.