By Nici Holt Cline
Our summer end-of-day routine is full and harried. Andy uses the word insane to describe it. I don’t know how but every day we are shocked to learn it is already 6pm. The next few hours are like a choreographed dance on a craggy staircase with wheeled toys underfoot. A contemporary dance with lots of dramatic falls and jerky twirls and irregular rhythm. Andy is right. It’s insane. And I love it.
We pull food from the ground and paw through the pantry to put together a meal. We share the day’s stories around Margot singing Feist and in between sweeping paperclips out of Ruby’s mouth. Forks lay exactly where the last bite was taken and our dog eats the leftovers off the counter. We barely remember to feed the new fish and our bed is unmade, a consistent reminder that we are not good at changing sheets. Clean pjs are plucked straight off the line next to the chatty hens and sprinklers are moved from the beans to the beets. A martini is poured and an oweie is kissed.
We wash the day’s dirt, faded face paint, pureed carrots and sunscreen from our kids, dance Ruby to sleep and read Margot just one more book for an hour. This is when it gets really good. When the flurry slows and I witness a nearly three year-old giggle herself into breathlessness over a tickling toothbrush, when I have the opportunity to watch my nearly one year-old’s full moon eyes blink to a half moon and then a peaceful crescent.
When I surrender to a day’s end and reflect on the unique arrangement of activities and interactions never to occur again, that’s when I am most in love.
I hold Ruby in the delicate, fleeting moments when I assume my wide-legged, tired-mama stance and I find new energy to hum and sway my baby one day further from her birth day. I stare at her perfect head and my exhaustion fades into thankfulness. We lie down together and I think about a year ago when we laid down exactly like that except she was inside me then.
I am with Margot in hearty, comfortable moments when I pull a homemade quilt tight up under her chin that is just like her daddy’s and her smiling eyes express more love than I ever thought could come my way. I trace her face and she asks me to do it again and again and I feel like I should never say no because, really what else do I have to do that is more important? We lie with our foreheads together and she tells me about the dinosaurs in her room and her favorite ducks. She says, I love you a lot mama.
I love the whole crazy thing. The beginning when papa gets home and there isn’t enough of him to go around. The middle when Margot runs naked through the house carrying an overstuffed elmo backpack and Ruby perches loudly on my left hip while Andy and I divide and conquer. The end when the stress loosens, the stir settles and all that’s left is our family, a distillation that reveals one more beautifully unique, rich, insane day.
A fourth generation Montanan raising a fifth, Nici Holt Cline is a mama to Margot and Ruby, wife, gardener, crafter and runner who loves to write and take photos. She writes regularly on her popular blog dig this chick. You can read “Mama Digs” every Monday exclusively at www.mamalode.com. Read more of Nici’s mamalode articles here.
Check out what's happening around town at our events calendar.
Love what you read? Share it!
Email This Post
Connect with us!
Oh how I miss those innocent days! Beautifully written and wonderfully wise.
Thank you!
You have a wonderful little corner in this big universe….I love it too! and I too love you a lot.
xoxo
ps….also love to see the face tracing tradition being carried on
Lovely chaos! (Not clearing too many paper clips out of that child’s mouth, I hope
)
Simply beautiful.
Thank you for another delightful read. I especially liked the moon eyes. What fortunate girls to have a mama who sees them this way and give time to watch them falling asleep.
Nici, I read your blog and this is the first time I’m commenting. The paragraph about the love on Margot’s face brought tears to my eyes. I never knew such love existed until I had my little one…It’s amazing that this feeling exists, isn’t it? Lovely, lovely.
changing sheets is overrated.
i so relate to this post right now!!
loved reading your version while in the glow of the post-bedtime hours. xo
Beautiful and sweet
Just love Mama Digs! Every time I read one, I can’t wait for the next! Beautiful writing!
Mmmmmmmmm…I love these posts. Deep down loving of life
You are supposed to change sheets? Oh hell.
Your posts make me want to “go with it” more. And that is a good reminder for me. Plus I just love the way you write Nici Snicki.
Oh, Nici! Standing ovation. I loved every word. You had me at “choreographed dance on a craggy staircase ” and then it just kept getting better. I love you my friend and I love your words! xoxo