By Jennifer Savage
At the beginning of this summer I had one goal, basic and simple. I wanted to have fun.
Last summer was decidedly not fun. We managed to pull off some elements of summer last year but afternoon dips in the river and walks around the block did not a summer make. Taking care of two children each day in the wake of meningitis was enough of a challenge that the days were few that I could take in a summer ritual like going to the swimming pool or biking to the baseball game.
So as the weather warmed this spring and the June rains fell I wanted to focus on having fun and to do it exceedingly well.
As August unfolds all around us, my children are sleeping, sandy and sticky. Their curls have blond tips and their backs are brown with white stripes. And they fall into naps tired and happy, almost every day. Some days we hit the splash park in the morning, the river in the afternoon. And the burrito store in between. We’ve eaten ice cream, dug trenches on the banks of the Clark Fork River and thrown rocks in the Blackfoot. We’ve climbed rocks and slipped into big mountain lakes by way of a canoe floating past white lotus flowers. We’ve grown vegetables, stayed up late to watch movies and eat popcorn at the outdoor cinema near our house. We’ve filled our house with people and, yes, we have had fun.
This idea of doing one thing and doing it well is a new concept for me. I know I have Type-A leanings. I can be an organization junkie, a neat ninny when it comes to the house, the car. I can over achieve with the best of them. But for the past year or so I’ve really been trying not to. I don’t mean that I’ve put on my giving up on life pants and started leaving the dishes in the sink for a week, I just mean I’ve started to think about things a little differently. Maybe it’s the quality over quantity argument or maybe I just got so damned tired of my cell phone ringing that I’ve put it on vibrate and only answer it when I have the time to actually talk to someone.
In May I quit my job of five years in part because my life as an employee, a freelancer and a mama of two tiny children was leaving me feeling a little stretched thin. There was a time when I became energized by multi-tasking, by juggling one more ball. Then, one day, I was out of energy. No matter how far I dug to try and tap the well of I can do it! I couldn’t. I didn’t want to anymore.
There is a sign above the sink in the house where I take yoga. It says: I am washing dishes. I am thankful to be washing dishes. My yoga teacher says: Breathe in. I am aware that I am breathing in. Breathe out. I am aware that I am breathing out. Lately, I am aspiring to these things.
I am thankful to be washing the dishes.
Sometimes I have to quiet my mind from wandering down the path of what’s the next big thing. And it is a far greater challenge for me than answering phone calls, meeting ad or copy deadlines and making sure everyone has on their snow boots. All of that, and at once, actually comes pretty easy.
I think I’ve always wondered what the slowing down would feel like. I was always a little scared to find out. Would there be something in the savoring to sustain me? Am I patient enough to sit with uncomfortable silences? What would I find at the end of every deep exhalation? Would it be enough?
Turns out, it’s more than enough. It’s what my grandmother calls a great plenty.
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Jennifer Savage is a writer and mama of Eliza and Lucille. Lately, she's learning to be a city girl. She writes from her home in Missoula, Montana. She is also one of Mamalode's favorite writers and you can fall in love with her too at Jennifer-Savage.com Read more of Jennifer's mamalode articles here.
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Hey Jennifer,
It’s Holly, your old neighbor on the Northside and yoga friend. I love this piece. It makes me yearn for Missoula in the summertime and all the wonderful mama activities that abound. I can totally relate to being a multi-tasker and have also been trying to focus on doing one thing at a time, mindfully. This has been especially important as I’ve started working full-tim and have less time to spend with Cedar. Thanks for such a great piece!
Holly
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