By Nici Holt Cline
Last Friday I drove to the post office alone. I don’t recall specifics about what I did, how I interacted with the employee. I definitely didn’t look in a mirror or notice who was in line with me. I was inward and grounded. It was almost like a weightless mediation. Not quite, but kind of. I had made the trip there and back in silence, with free use of both of my arms at all times. No radio, no phone, no toddler stream of consciousness, no baby babble. I only carried my wallet.
Quiet with a light load. This is how I fly solo these days.
My life is charmingly overstuffed with negotiations and explanations. It’s loud. Even when it’s just me and my girls at home, there’s the ambient noise almost always provided by NPR, chickens, dogs, cats. And there’s the noise as Margot announces her every activity and thought in extraordinary detail, often in third person. Margot’s awake. Margot loves maple yogurt. I think Ruby likes it too. I give some to Ruby? Ruby’s eyes are open. Remember that deer, mama? He had a hurt leg. That makes me sad. Read a book with me please? Margot will be right back! I go get a book. First I take my shoes off. That’s a good idea! And then the carousel! And Ruby, her devout little sister, alternates between coos and shrieks, depending on the level of love Margot is giving.
During nap time, I move so fast I create noise. I feel like I approach the sound barrier as I real quick accomplish 17 hours worth of work in three hours. Even if my home is quiet during that time, my mind isn’t. It’s my time and I spend it crossing items off my list with an irreversible, opaque Sharpie. I move.
After nap, we run around outside, make snacks while breast feeding, start a million projects that won’t get finished. And then it’s straight into the excitement of papa crossing the threshold, dinner, the divide-and-conquer bedtime routine, clean up, catch up. Our days are full and raucous.
So, when I have the opportunity to walk by myself, at my own pace to the car and buckle only my own belt, I drive away in silence. I leave my phone at home and I don’t process or problem solve. It may not feed my emotional and mental health like yoga or a long run, but sometimes I need to get creative about where I carve out alone time. And, surprisingly, a chill, bag-free, kid-free, 20-minute journey to the post office can be the perfect reset button so this mama can get loud and love it again the next day.
Similar Posts:
- mama digs: good food and strong quads
- mama digs: rise and shine
- mama digs: working from home while doing a backbend
- mama digs: heart home
- mama digs: good morning
A fourth generation Montanan raising a fifth, Nici Holt Cline is a mama to Margot and Ruby, wife, gardener, crafter and runner who loves to write and take photos. She writes regularly on her popular blog dig this chick. You can read “Mama Digs” every Monday exclusively at www.mamalode.com. Read more of Nici’s mamalode articles here.
Check out what's happening around town at our events calendar.
Love what you read? Share it!
Email This Post
Oh. My. Yes. Those blessed quiet moments. I remember when my own kids were small. I think it was after a birthday party, and a friend with two small children was over with her husband. She said to him that she was going to run to the co-op, and could be stay with the girls? Hubby said sure, no problem. My best friend, at that time a pregnant mom of one, looked at me, I looked at my husband, “Can we leave them with you?” He said sure, no problem, and three women hopped giddily into a car together, and rode in silence, marveling at the experience of going grocery shopping without negotiation or distraction. Such a simple, mundane task turned so meditative by the simple absence of kids and accoutrement.
My kids are 18 and 20, and that is such a clear, funny and precious memory. My grandson is 4. Occasionally, Grampa just says, “Go by yourself, honey. You need some quiet.” He remembers too.
I feel like we are leading parallel lives, right up to the “divide and conquer” at bedtime. A solo trip to the grocery store through rush-hour traffic can be my current definition of serenity.
Quite time are a good thing…..however, I would give anything to listen to Margot talk in 3rd person everyday ALL day!
I totally love this post. And even when the kids ARE older, you will find you need those little breaks also!
My house is louder (in different ways), there are MORE questions asked (harder ones to answer so I have to think harder) and multiple other children who seem to congregate at the house too….
Which gives me the excuse “Oh, I have to run to the store REAL QUICK. I’m going to get you all ice cream!”
Then I sit back and enjoy a little mommy time out in the car….sans the phone!
So now I understand why I stopped listening to the radio in the car when I’m driving alone. I’ve always been the rock out type and I thought I was losing my edge. I think I’m just taking it all in…
Love this!