By Jen Slayden
“Wings! Wings! Wings! They are wonderful flying things. Wings flutter and flap and they make things go. Some go high and some go low. Some fly fast and some fly slow. Some wings are red, and some wings are blue. Wings help you fly, that’s what they do!”
Riley used to love the book Wings on Things by Marc Brown when he was little. Each time I would say “Go pick out a book” his little hands would grab the Wings book and he would crawl up on my lap excited to hear the familiar rhymes. I read it so many times that I still have most of it memorized to this day. My youngest son just found this book under his bed. We have been reading it, and it is bringing back a lot of memories! It just so happens that we rediscovered it just a few days before Riley heads to Minnesota on an airplane for the first time without mom and dad at his side.
Riley has been chosen along with five other students from Montana to take part in a trip in conjunction with the Missoula Watershed Network and Salish Kootenai College to participate alongside scientists, teachers, high school and undergraduate students in scientific lake studies and to take part in a science camp. It is such an honor for him to attend this all-expense paid trip but as a mom I have to admit, I have to let go a little. Riley turns thirteen this month and transitions from tween to teen. The timing and irony is not lost on me.
“……Wings of many sizes. Big and small and short and tall.”
As a baby and toddler, Riley was always even-tempered and mellow. I guess nature gives you what you can handle at the time, because being a first time mom was overwhelming for me. I was overprotective, nervous, and suffering from postpartum depression. I couldn’t leave him for long and when I finally returned to work I would drive 25 minutes to take him to my dear friend’s day care because she was the only one I trusted. Yet, true to his nature he would just go with the flow. He taught me how to lighten up.
“ …….There are wings that drum. There are wings that hum. Buzzing wings that buzz are dangerous to touch. Those wingers with stingers we don’t like them very much.”
As a preschooler Riley loved nature. We were outside constantly, no matter the weather. He would spend hours catching bugs, butterflies, and ants. One time he snuck a whole jar of spiders into his room. I freaked out when I found them, but he was just fine. His life revolved around questioning the nature of things. I remember him asking me one time when we saw a bald gentleman in town: “Mom, why did God forget to plant hair seeds on that guys head?” He taught me how to laugh more frequently.
“…….Wings flying high writing words in the sky…..”
I remember the first day of Kindergarten for Riley. I couldn’t comprehend how time flew by so fast. Where had the five years gone? I was pregnant with child number three, happy to have a little time with my daughter, who was a preschooler, but also a little dismal to have my role as mom redefined. Riley clung to me that first day, but soon he became more confident and dove head first into learning. He would come home and ask how many hours were left before he could go back to Mrs. Schendels class. He taught me that new experiences are sometimes intimidating but are usually also rewarding.
“…Wings on pets. Wings in nets. Wings are on eagles. Never on beagles…..”
Riley’s seventh birthday party included his entire class coming to our house. We live a block from a fire station and the gracious firemen were happy to accommodate our group for a field trip. My friend Jenna stayed with me and as a true teacher she helped me line up eighteen kids and walk them down to the station. Our trusty dog got out of the yard to follow her favorite boy and happened to trip him up just as the firemen were getting ready to let all the kids spray the hose. He landed on his knee and immediately cut it wide open.
Luckily, those wonderful firemen were EMTs and they quickly patched up the birthday boy. However, he needed stitches. He refused to go to the ER, though, until the party was over, so he sat on the sidelines watching his friends play games at his party. He remembered to say “thank you” for each of his gifts as he carefully unwrapped them. After his friends were gone, I hauled him into the Emergency Room where the doctor sewed six stitches into his knee. He was offered seven, to accommodate his age, but he said “No thanks.” Watching him bite his lip and smile, he taught me bravery.
“…Wings can take you most any place. There are wings everywhere- even in space!”
As a mother, I have watched Riley tackle so many new adventures. I have watched his tenacity and persistence as he learned how to ride a unicycle. I have witnessed him embrace his love of music and blossom into a wonderful artist. I have seen the joy on his face as he caught his very first fish by himself. I have witnessed him tackle the bunny hill, the greens, blues, and eventually black diamond runs on the ski slopes. I have beamed with pride as he has brought home perfect grades but more proud of him that he continually loves to learn and educate himself. I have seen him sprout wings.
So this mama waves goodbye to her son as he boards an airplane this week. This mama also says “fasten your seat belt” as Riley takes flight as a teenager this month. I know that adventure, learning, and joy can only continue to happen in his young life if I encourage him to trust his wings, and if I allow him to fly.
Next time on the Tween Chronicles: Stuck in the Middle
Jen Slayden is a long time Missoulian who thrives in the chaos of being a mother of three while also being a Certified Life Coach, musician and educator. She enjoys writing about all of life’s little lessons on her blog, which you can find at www.bigskylifecoach.com .
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- Tween Chronicles: Facing the Music
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Just love this Jen! I am crying because I can associate it all with my own tweens- almost teens!! Yikes! Good job mama.
Wow….brings back alot of memories of sweet Riley! You did good Jen…let him spread his wings and know he will always come back home!!!
Very Nice, Jen!
Beth
Wonderful post as usual Jen. We live to give those kids wings but when they try them out, it’s so hard. Good for you and love your courage!
Exceptional. This is a beautiful story. LOVE the photos, especially of the little flyer!
This is beautiful, Jen. I so appeciated the message and the reminder to take it all in…the moments that define us and allow us to grow. Thanks.
Dear Jenny, It brings tears to my eyes and lots of memories of motherhood and all the lessons that we learn with it. Congrats to Riley:)!
So sweetly written…I sit her with my baby nursing and I am realizing more and more how insanely quickly kids change and grow and, eventually, fly away. Your essay made me teary with excitement for my kids to experience spiders in jars, stitches and black diamonds.
Don’t blink, right?
Yay, Riley! It is clear how proud you are of Riley! And it’s so encouraging to think about all of the stages our children go through and how wonderfully they turn out. That’s exciting and bittersweet that he’s going on his first airplane trip by himself.
Another great post!! It’s amazing when they turn 13. My youngest will be thirteen next month. I feel it’s the end of an era.
Dear Jen,
What a beautiful article. Yes, it is hard to watch the kids grow up and in one sense away from the family, but I suspect that your kids will be as faithful to you as you have been to your parents.
I hope you have been able to prepare him for adolescence better than the mother who told her son, “Budy, you are getting to be a teen-ager. That means your shoulders will get broader.
Dear Jen,
My first attempt tp reply didn’t give me achance to finish. Here is the whole thing.
What a beautiful article. It is hard to watch the kids grow up and away, but I think your kids will be as faithful to their parents as your ahve been to yours.
I hope you were able to prepare him better for adolescence than this mother was. She told him, “Buddy, you are getting to be a teen-ager now. That means your shoulders will grow broader. You will get taller. You will grow a beard, and your voice will get deeper.”
Buddy replies, “Gee! I hope it happens on a Saturday! I don’t want the kids in school to see it hapen!”
Dear Jen,
It is so hard to believe Riley is a teenager. It has been such a privelege watching the three kids grow up and watchin g the wonderful parenting skills from you and Mark .
You have such a beautiful way of expressing your thoughts and emotions. Great article!
Love you, Vonnie