By Nici Holt Cline
I enjoy knowing where stuff is. I don’t think I am an exceptionally organized person but compared to the man I married, I am an overly caffeinated Martha Stewart in your kitchen pantry.
There are reasons people have sock drawers and toothbrush holders. I prefer to wear matching socks that reside in one location and to easily locate my toothbrush. My husband doesn’t use drawers and the toothbrush lives where the toothbrush falls. These small organizational differences have been the subject of many chats over the years. And, after several failed compromises, he uses the guest room as a closet and I find his toothbrush and put it back in the bathroom cabinet every morning.
It works. There are many ways to move through the world and, really, toothbrushes and socks are small potatoes. And I most certainly have my own annoying habits like never filling the car with gas even when the gas light is flashing or leaving piles of earrings and bobby pins on virtually every surface of our home. There are, however, some things that just have to be one way. Things where I am right and he is wrong.
Like The Diaper Bag.
It seems so simple to me. There are pockets. It is much easier for everyone involved if the same shit goes into the same pocket all the time. The handy diaper carrying case that holds the contents tidily. The plastic clam shell container saves money and resources by conveniently containing the wipes. Outside pocket left for the spit up rag, outside pocket right for the snot rag. Inside pocket right for the disinfectant wipes, inside pocket left for the snacks. Water bottle in side mesh pocket, EMPTY dirty diaper bag in the bottom, sling rolled in a coil slid down the right side next to my wallet, change of clothes on the left side, keys in top zippered section, cell phone in the cell phone holder.
It’s like an outlaw’s holster. It would totally suck if he went to grab his pistol on a draw and found his peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the gun holder. He would die. All because things weren’t in the right place.
When I am changing my daughter’s diaper and mustard-colored poo is dangerously close to taking over my person, I find it enjoyable to grab wipes without difficulty. Or, when my toddler is in the backpack, arching her body against mine, yelling I WANT A FRUIT LEATHER, I take pleasure in a streamlined snag of the snack bag.
And really, it must be more difficult to make a lasagna of diapers and covers and clothes and water bottles and slings and keys. And then remove the wipes from the case and sprinkle them randomly throughout the bag. And then shoehorn the wadded lasagna in the swollen diaper bag, without looking to see which of those items was already in there. Do you think that sounds INSANE? Me too. My husband prefers this method.
We joke about it but I think my jokes might be edging toward biting sarcasm. It’s just one of those things that we don’t see eye to eye on. It’s one of those things that will be a funny story. Some day. For now, I am remain grateful kids are only in diapers for a few years.
A fourth generation Montanan raising a fifth, Nici Holt Cline is a mama to Margot and Ruby, wife, gardener, crafter and runner who loves to write and take photos. She writes regularly on her popular blog dig this chick. You can read “Mama Digs” every Monday exclusively at www.mamalode.com. Read more of Nici’s mamalode articles here
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BUT the man can cook!
I see my friends with their diaper bags. And then I see those same friends with their husbands and their husbands’ diaper bags.
They have gone beyond being annoyed not being able to find the wipes when poo is hitting them in the eye and just decided, “Guess what, LOVE OF MY LIFE, you get your OWN bag. Which you can organize and stock just any old way you like.”
What they don’t then say (at least within earshot), “And if poo is hitting you in the eye and you can’t find wipes IT WILL BE YOUR OWN DAMNED FAULT.”
Too much?
I’m just saying. I can’t imagine having anyone rooting around in my purse, reorganizing things this way and that way, so I’d be the first one on individual diaper bags.
We nearly got divorced because Seth used to go digging in the diaper bag (for whatever he was looking for!) like a puppy digging for a bone, a wake of crap behind him. Sigh….no more diaper bag!
Oh Man! That made me laugh pretty hard! Seems like they all went to the same lasagna diaper bag packing class together!!
Nici..
You are awesome.. this cracked me up this morning! .. as we are in search of a d-bag.
I love this and totally sympathize. I thought I’d fight the chaos that is the diaper bag vortex by buying a small diaper bag. I am rapidly finding out that while this will work so long as I only need a few diapers and wipes and I’m providing meals, once my baby graduates to larger clothes, larger diapers, and meals that are not provided by yours truly – I’m gonna need a bigger one. Regardless, I have my own special way of packing it – it’s simple and logical… diapers stacked on one side, spare romper under the wipes on the other… diaper changing cloth on top of everything. The pockets have their own special stuffings… But no matter what I ask my husband to put in there – even if it’s just ONE thing of a sort that is already in there – somehow everything is completely rearranged. It boggles the mind.
[...] and skillfully when passing through my red lips. I am more patient and kind. With lipstick on (and a tidy diaper bag over my shoulder) I am aware, present, sexy, confident. I have a grip. I feel good and [...]
Ahhh…I just read this old one right now. I so resonate. My husband and I are pretty much on the same page with the diaper bag. My MIL? Always wants to change a diaper, and she ALWAYS pulls everything out of the bag, and then she CRAMS it back in at the end. It makes me want to scream. Scream.
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