By Nici Holt Cline
My mom always says pick your battles. And, although annoying when I was an annoying teenager, it has always been true. Especially applicable with a toddler.
Pick your battles.
Like, when your kid wants to wear The Coat even though it is 19 degrees outside and it has a peanut butter funk over its entirety and it is more like a spring-time sweater, you dig The Coat out of the laundry from under poop-crusted diaper covers and move on.
Or, when you make two identical pieces of toast with plum jam and a slice of swiss cheese. You grab your slice and sit down with a luxurious cup of coffee after a long night with a newborn and your kid has to have your piece because it is ‘bigger’ and you trade even though her piece has two bites out of it and slobber on the cheese.
For example.
But then there are the non-negotiables like buckling into a car seat or wearing shoes in the snow or pooping in a toilet or, in my family, skiing. When I was pregnant with Margot, Andy and I would wonder what she would be like, what her passions would be. And, Andy said, well, she’ll ski. And I said, what if she doesn’t? And he said, she’ll ski until she’s old enough to decide not to. Like, until she is 26.
We both grew up in big skiing families. It was non-negotiable that we participate. Thankfully, we did both like it. And what remained an important hobby to me, became Andy’s religion. My man is most himself when on the snow.
Last year we skied with Margot a few times, her riding snug against one of our chests as we slowly made our way down easy groomers. It was so cool and an itty glimpse at what it would be like when we can ski as a family down the road. This year, bug got a fancy ski outfit from gram and bakka for her second birthday and shortly after, we packed up and headed up to Snowbowl, this time with tiny skis in the rocket box and an infant by her side in the back seat.
Ruby bundled on Andy, Margot decked out in the warmest outfit on the planet in my arms, snow slowly falling, gear strategically balanced in backpacks and empty hands, we made it to the bunny hill. I hiked with Margot and heaved her short body between my legs, the slippery sticks on her feet igniting fear and excitement. And then she fell in love. Fast mama! More again!
I know the non-negotiables Andy and I have our hearts set on won’t always resonate with our daughters. We’ll sort it out as they come because one thing I have learned as a parent is that many non-negotiables are actually quite negotiable…when my daughters are annoying teenagers we’ll be shuffling a whole different deck. We’ll still be picking our battles. They will, however, ski.
Nici Holt Cline is a fourth generation Montanan working on raising a fifth. You can read “Mama Digs” every Monday exclusively at www.mamalode.com. Nici also writes regularly at dig this chick, a blog about gardening with Montana, growing with two wondrous kids, cooking with impulsive whimsy, sewing with naive courage and some other important observations.
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Who is that downhill racer?! Oh Margot you are going to love it….so many great times ahead.
Yes, even more true as you age to pick your battles. Don’t sweat the small stuff and grab the big stuff with passion!
Love the story!
My husband and I have often wondered if our 5 mo old son, Zane, will have the same love of the outdoors as we do. So far it appears we have a born outdoorsman on our hands. We are grateful for this as camping, hiking, fishing etc will be some of the “non-negotiables” at least until he is able to really protest. We are hoping that day never comes.
When my family moved from New Mexico to Utah, my Mom (rockstar skier that she was) took me to get outfitted for skis during our first winter. It was, and still is, one of the greatest gifts she ever gave me. I can’t wait to teach my girl to ski!
Love your writing here, there and everywhere.
This reminds me of something my ski crazy and very wonderful husband said when I was pregnant with our first… “Of course I’ll love our child no matter what they want to do when they grow up- well, unless they decide to snowboard.”
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That’s very good news for all women. All they need to do is to stay active by playing sports activities, exercising, strolling, playing with children and to enjoy many other regular activities. Great read. Many thanks.