As a child my community was a Midwest, preparatory, boarding academy. I was raised by my parents and other faculty members; teenagers were my role models and my everyday life was soaked in education. As a result I value community, youth, and learning but I was not happy living in Ohio. I smelly-markered my room with road maps and majestic ideas about Montana. While my high school peers sought dozens of Big Tens and Ivy Leagues, I sent an application to The University of Montana. I was determined 1) to move to Montana AND 2) to become a sex therapist.
They accepted me. I started with a bachelor’s degree in psychology at UM and continued with a master’s degree in health and human performance. I volunteered most days and sometimes worked as many as three jobs. After graduation I began my first longer-term sex educator position and went back to school. By 26 I had my doctorate in human sexuality and a private practice in clinical sexology.
None of this felt as rewarding as becoming a guide home parent (a branch of foster parenting). In April of 2009 I was matched with a young person, age 17. Although she was only ten years my junior we found a parenting model that worked for us and built a really amazing relationship from it. What I couldn’t get around was the effect on my business.
My private practice at this time consisted of seeing clients in my living room. When someone wanted to set up an appointment I would twirl about doing a home-to-office conversion. I would de-dog, de-dust and de-family my home to appear professional. Then I would open my door to the person for a talk-therapy session. Through a client-centered approach and large focus on permission-giving I provided the highest quality of sexual health care to clients I could. I continued to build my practice from an elaborate business plan (thank you MCDC) and I saw enough clients to feel successful. But it was not ideal.
It was not appropriate or safe to meet clients in my house, especially with my foster daughter, and it was a hectic battle to live two lives in one space. My ‘daughter’ had to keep her glamour-girl bathroom neutral for clients. When parenting called, “I need a ride.” “I forgot my running shoes.” “There is a dance tomorrow.” “Can you pick me up?” I couldn’t always rescue her from high school. I worked around her school, sports and other schedules. She had to find creative distractions when there were timing conflicts—like raking the neighbor’s yard.
Being “momtrepreneur” has been amazing but it doesn’t come without adjustments. I stopped taking on any new clients and rigorously searched for a new office. In July I found it. As Dr. Seuss writes, “Duckie, you’re really quite lucky!” The price was better than right and the location afforded me privacy, beauty and expansion. Even my ‘daughter’ was excited. One Sunday she painted a Greek mural on a wall of Eros and his mortal lover, Psyche. The community that I had built over eight years in Missoula chipped in, spread the news and act as volunteer staff. As a team we named it Birds & Bees, LLC and created a business much larger and more comprehensive than my private practice.
I still see clients in a one-on-one setting to resolve their sexual issues but I also have the space to support body therapy, workshops, support groups, films, book clubs, fitness classes, member meetings, a lending library and the makings of a body-friendly products shop. The mission is to guide people towards healthy sexuality and already people from all over the northwest have come to make sense of their sexual navigations.
My goal is to keep this sexual health collaborative open for Montana and the surrounding frontier states. Right now we are a volunteer staff of nine serving approximately thirty new clients per week. I would like to continue with the mission and vision of being a model for sexual health care services. This includes working with couples whose sex lives have been touched by parenting.
My ‘daughter’ is no longer with me but I see her painting every day I go to work. It reminds me of her other gifts to me and what it was like to build a relationship from the ground up—just like it was with my work. Montana Community Development Corp’s FastTrac® GrowthVenture ™ course is designed for owners who have experience running a business but want to improve performance and plan for strategic growth. This is me. I want to share my gifts with community and I believe learning how makes this more possible.
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I am most impressed with this women’s commitment to this much needed profession.
Susana Mayer, Ph.D.
I am much impressed by this women’s commitment to this much needed profession.
Susana Mayer, Ph.D.
A wonderful story from a talented and commited professional.
Dr.Lindsey Doe is quite spectacular.She is 100% into her work.
You go Lindsey. I sincerely hope that Ms./Dr. Doe will be blessed with this training and development opportunity as she is a most deserving candidate.
Lindsey is amazing. It’s just that simple.
Dr. Doe inspires those around her with open minded encouragement. She lets patients and peers alike grow and choose the healthy sexual life that is best for them.
[...] Dr. Lindsey Doe of Birds and Bees LLC. [...]
simply have got to mention you generate some good points and definitely will put up a small amount of options to add in as soon as a day or two.
[...] Biz contest finalist: Lindsey Doe, DHS — Birds and Bees LLCDec 15, 2009 … 9 Responses. Susana Mayer says: December 16, 2009 at 8:00 am … Susana Mayer, Ph.D. Reply · Susana Mayer says: December 16, 2009 at … [...]