Ideas: What We Can Do To Make Kids More Likeable

Friday, October 16th, 2009 in Ideas, Stories

By Judy Wright, Families First Parent Educator

Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent or teacher more than the plaintive cry “I don’t have any friends.” We wish there were something we could do to insure the child will be, if not the most popular, at least included in the games on the playground. Actually, there is something we can do to increase their acceptance by the group and become more approachable to others.

New research shows that all likeable children behave in certain ways. These skills are not in-born but can be taught by parents and other caring adults. There is a language of likeability that some children must learn. It has been called a “shorthand” to making friends.

Here are 5 secrets to assisting your child to be more likeable. Teach and model them on a daily basis and you will find your social circle enlarging.

1. Look for opportunities to assist others. Studies show that helpfulness correlates more strongly than any other attribute to being liked. Teach them to be aware of other people’s needs and to offer assistance spontaneously, before they ask for it.

2. Find something that makes you feel special. Encourage your child to find an activity that they really enjoy. They don’t have to excel at it, just enjoy it.

3. Say “hello” first, and smile. People who smile are perceived as nice and approachable. Friendly people act as a magnet to others.

4. Don’t stand out from the crowd. Whether we like it or not, kids are judged by the way they look. Try to help them fit in.

5. Recognize the difference between friendship and popularity. Friendship is more important and will last a lifetime. Popularity is fleeting and dependent on the group. You really only need one good friend.

Judy H. Wright is a parent educator, author and international speaker on family issues. You can contact Judy directly at 406-549-9813 or by writing JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com.