By Laura Parvey-Connors
It was early spring when we adopted our first baby, a 6-month-old black lab puppy. My husband and I had been looking for the perfect four-legged companion to bring into our new home. A dog was a way to expand our family without committing to parenting a child. We figured it would calm any biological clock needs for a few years. We found our furry, first child online at the Hamilton Humane Society, met her for about 30 minutes and rushed her home to Missoula.
She was a timid, energetic puppy, who needed a lot of work and training. My rock-hound husband suggested renaming her Onyx and I agreed hoping that I wouldn’t have to name any of our children after rocks. She was our first glimpse into parenthood — waking up at night to let her out, walking her multiple times a day to tamper that puppy energy, fixing holes in dry wall, taking her to the doctor when she got injured, and spoiling her with toys and treats.
Three years later and a month before my due date, I felt three sharp-stabbing pains while walking Onyx on the dirt trails of the DNRC. The pains took my breath away, but stopped. Braxton Hicks, I rationalized. The next morning, I was in the hospital. My water had broke at 36 weeks and 14 hours later, Onyx was the unwilling big sister to a 7 lb. 2 ounce little boy.
When we came home from the hospital, Onyx happily greeted my husband John, but ignored me. She wouldn’t come near me. She treated me like a protective mother of a new pup and kept her distance for weeks. Then the jealousy bug caught her. Every time I sat down to nurse my son Everson, Onyx would whine at the door, desperate for attention. I continued to walk her everyday, but it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t just the two of us, there was now a third intruder along.
Jealousy morphed to depression for our energetic, black lab. She’d sulk, sigh, and slowly meander to her bed where she’d sleep a majority of the day away. The dark cloud above her head lasted almost a year. It dissipated right around the time Everson learned to drop food off his high chair tray onto the floor. The drops of food were a peace offering.
A month later, Everson learned how to throw a ball. I was in awe of Onyx’s gentle, happy approach to teaching the game of fetch. Everson was fairly patient, but would screech demanding back the yellow tennis ball. I’d coax Onyx to drop the ball, she’d abide, and the game resumed.
Yesterday, I was sitting on the floor with Everson sharing some honey grahams when Onyx sat down beside us, patiently waiting for a crumb to drop. Everson looked at Onyx and slowly offered up his cracker. Onyx sniffed his hand and then, with a soft mouth, gently snatch the treat out of Everson’s fingers. Everson giggled, looked at me smiling and Onyx licked her chops. I sighed with relief. It took a year, but finally my kids had moved from frienemy to friend.
Laura Parvey-Connors manages the details of www.mamalode.com as the official mamalode webgeek. She works full-time in marketing and runs Loose Leash Marketing and Design, her own graphic design and consulting business, on the side. She is the proud mommy of two energetic kiddos — a 4-year-old black lab and 14.5 month old little boy.
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