Ideas: 5 Reasons Our Kids Tune Us Out

Friday, September 11th, 2009 in Ideas, Stories

Judy Wright, Families First Parent Educator

Did you hear what I said?” “Are you listening to me?” “Why do I have to repeat myself 100 times?” “Do you understand what I am telling you?” “What did I just tell you to do?” “Are you deaf?” If you are tired of trying to communicate with a child who seems to be hard of hearing when we speak, perhaps there are some reasons.

We talk too much
We talk too loud
Every conversation is a criticism
We don’t listen when they speak
They have trained us to nag

Let’s examine these Listening Lessons and see what we can improve:

We talk too much. Loving parents want to do the best for their children so they feel if they tell them all the stories of how they struggled and how they know all the answers, the child will give up and do what we ask. This method of communication is lecture, advise, order and threaten.
We talk too loud. We feel that if we raise our voice they will respond. Actually, it is the opposite. When you speak softly, they have to pay attention to what you are saying.
Too much criticism. The parent feels the way to motivate is through blame, shame, name-calling, sarcasm or jokes in order to put the child down.
We don’t listen when they speak. We need to allow others to express their beliefs and feeling honestly, without fear of rejection.
They have trained us to nag. Why should they pick up their jacket the first time you tell them if they know by experience that you will yell 6 times and then do it yourself?

Judy H. Wright is a parent educator, author and international speaker on family issues. You can contact Judy directly at 406-549-9813 or by writing JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com.